What We Decide to Pack

I’m sitting in my room, staring at 120 liter rolling duffel bag that rests limply on the floor. Next to it is a basket of clean laundry and I am realizing that the next time my laundry will actually feel clean again is exactly four months from today. I’m not bothered or worried or grossed out by the reality, it just strikes me as a moment – a moment where the gravity of, and the truth behind, what you’re about to take on is captured so beautifully in the smile you create all by yourself.

I figure a week out from departure is a good time to start thinking about packing. I know that for some people this process started weeks if not months ago, but the extent of the physical “stuff” that (in my opinion) needed to be fussed over before now has been more malaria/vaccination/how-do-I-actually-pay-for-this oriented.

So now I have this big suitcase and need to figure out what to put in it. Spending the majority of my summer living out of two different suitcases has taught me a lot about what I own, why I choose to take ownership of it, and how much of what I own do I actually use. The truth of the matter is, I own more than I need and end up mostly drawing from a pile of comfortable shirts, fun sweaters, and a rotation of jeans and shorts. Oh and, well workout clothes is a separate story. If you break a (real) sweat 6 days a week, that whole laundry situation becomes even more interesting. I get this a lot: “oh my gosh, 100 days in 14 countries?? How in the heck are you going to pack?!” I don’t respond with my dissertation on society’s complex and disturbing dependence on material comforts... rather with something like “Ah, yes! But it sounds more difficult than it actually is starting to look like” because in truth, wardrobe is the least of my worries.

The point of this entry isn’t to elaborate on the Deet or the toothpaste or the new pair of TOMS Shoes I plan to haul on the boat. The concept of “deciding what to pack” extends beyond the tangible and to a level of consciousness that I find crucial to engage in before I take any big, new steps in my life. What habits, thoughts, perceptions, or past experiences do I want to take with me…? But more importantly, what do I want to leave behind? A mild detox, a purging of sorts. I’m looking at the empty bag and am thinking, you know what, I’m not filling that bag with any of my physical crap until I get some things “upstairs” retired or recycled. Too often we distract ourselves with money, and things, and checklists and don't leave enough room to consider the moment in time we occupy and notice the giant "backpack" of history, worry, regret, ideas, and hopes for the future that's totally strapped to us and maybe slowing us down. Before filling my duffel with shampoos and scarves and shorts, I need to do a little organizing.

I'll pause for an asterisk here: I never wanted this blog to be a diary, so I feel no need (nor do I think I am brave or willing enough) to drag on about the process of sorting through what I want to unload or reaffirm. But I do bring it to the table because I think it’s something important to share with you, whoever reads this, to think about what you’re going to "pack" with you as you transition from one phase to another.

Really though, this isn’t a new or divine concept. On a biological level, nature supports the cleansing of the body in the springtime after the high digestive fires of winter began to wear on our systems. The heavy, rich foods that tend to be consumed in the winter cannot be maintained and Ama (sticky toxic products of indigestion) start to accumulate. If you don’t assist these toxins in moving out of the body, you can become prone to flu, colds and cough, or allergies. Or you might feel unusually fatigued, sluggish or drowsy. To remedy the situation we change our diets, spend more time in the sun, and begin anew.

See what I mean? I think the mind desires to purge just as the body does throughout the seasons. If you don’t get the funky stuff out, there isn’t as much space open to the possibilities for growth and joy. I think we owe it to ourselves to realize our greatest potential by coming to terms with what doesn’t serve us, and what truly makes us feel energized, strong, and ready to move forward. Let yourself go there. I’m inviting you to join me. I’ll see you on the other side… with a full suitcase, and a lightness of spirit to take on the road ahead.